friends in blue places

Play Staind Song

2006-06-27T16:17:00.000-04:00

Yeah, it's been awhile.

I'm currently sans computer because my laptop suffered yet another lightning strike, which hit the battery and the charge where the AC adapter connects to the computer. Before, it was just the modem. Now, it's the very essense of the computer -- the component that makes it come to life.

So now I'm working with the insurance company to fix it. They want to fix it, I want a new one. We'll work something out, I'm sure. Until then, sit tight and I'll try to write as much as possible. Thanks to everyone who's emailed me in the past week. It's been cool. I'll do more later.

Flowers for Persona AlgerNon Grata

2006-06-20T16:40:00.000-04:00

The title really makes no sense whatsoever, but it made me chuckle. I'm in a really good mood and I like things that make me laugh. I also like beer and wings. Mmmm, beer and wings. It happens to be what I'm having for dinner tonight! Go figure.

A coworker of mine got flowers today and I'm totally jealous. Roses really aren't my thing, but I can still be jealous. I prefer lilacs and tulips. I'm more of a green, yellow and blue type of guy. Red roses are for girls.

Quote of the Day

2006-06-20T15:42:00.000-04:00

Dammit. I had a quote of the day all lined up. I went through work today repeating the quote over and over in my head, chuckling at its greatness and humor, but now I can't use it. The president had to go and open his trap and say something completely stupid, and of course such an instance diminishes the fantastic nature of any other quote.

"If you want your taxes low, keep Denny Hastert and Bill Frist as leaders of the House and the Senate."

-- President Bush during a speech last night, quoted by the White House website.

First and foremost, what a crock of shit. Second, Frist, of course, is not seeking reelection. In my best Napoleon Dynamite impression: Idiot.

Two in the Pink

2006-06-19T16:51:00.000-04:00

Brian Bilbray, the man who won disgraced GOP congressman Duke Cunningham's California district in a special election, has a few family issues to work out. The blogger Wonkette has found some photos of the Republican congressman's two children on MySpace and PhotoBucket doing not so legal things.

But that's not the good stuff. What child hasn't done something that, if photographed, would've brought shame and dishonor to his family? And hell, famous children disgrace famous parents all the time. Look at Ronald Reagan's daughter. She posed for Playboy. Cher's daughter is a big ole lesbian. So is Alan Keyes' daughter. And he disowned her! Children can be discarded and political careers can be mended, so Mr. Bilbray has little to worry about.

The juicier matter at hand, in my humblest of opinions, is that even stuffy Republican children know people who know the Shocker. It's the hand gesture of America's youth. Sadly.

God bless you, scary, Eva Longoria wannabe.

The Tides of Change?

2006-06-19T16:15:00.000-04:00

"Some big companies are boosting their share of campaign contributions to Democrats this year, a sign that executives may be starting to hedge their political bets after a decade of supporting congressional Republicans," according to Washington Wire.

"Most companies say they give political donations to candidates who support their businesses, regardless of party affiliation. But corporations also tend to channel funds to politicians they think will hold power. So any shift in corporate campaign giving toward Democrats could signal that businesses believe Democrats will have more sway in Washington after the 2006 midterm elections or the 2008 presidential contest."

Something else to look for after the midterm elections: the pardon of Libby?

"Speculation about a pardon began in late October, soon after Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald unsealed the perjury indictment of Libby, and it continued last week after Fitzgerald chose not to charge Rove," reports Newsday.

Bush "has powerful incentives" to pardon Libby. "They range from rewarding past loyalty to ending the awkward revelations emerging from pretrial motions, a flow that could worsen in his trial next year... By demanding sensitive, sometimes embarrassing materials, some say, Libby appears to be goading the White House into issuing a pardon."

Fire of a Million Suns

2006-06-19T15:53:00.000-04:00

Jason Kottke: "I know everyone's upset about her new book. I'm not going to use her name, but you know who I'm talking about; she's blonde, leggy, confident, radically conservative, radically full of shit, and you hate her with the fire of a million suns. But she's also a huge troll."

Quote of the Day

2006-06-18T15:28:00.000-04:00

Because "A Small Paragraph of a Large Newspaper Article in the New York Times of the Day" wouldn't fit in the Title line.

"In a highly unusual attempt to influence the debate, the Pentagon sent a 74-page "prep book" to several members of Congress, outlining what it called "rapid response" talking points to rebut criticism of Mr. Bush's handling of the war and prewar intelligence. The Pentagon sent the book to Democratic leaders on Wednesday night, apparently in error, then sent an e-mail message two hours later asking to recall it."

-- Robin Toner, "Partisan Fight Over Iraq War Erupts on Hill," New York Times, June 16, 2006.

Quote of the Day

2006-06-16T13:02:00.000-04:00

"I can't name them all."

-- Rep. Lynn Westmoreland (R-GA), in a Colbert Report interview, when asked to name the Ten Commandments. Westmoreland co-sponsored a bill to display the Ten Commandments in the House of Representatives and the Senate.

But which version?

After receiving the original ten commandments from God in Exodus 20:1-17, Moses threw them onto the ground and broke the two stone tablets. God, being the forgiving God, agreed to resubmit His commandments in Exodus 34:14-26. But these are very different commandments, some of which most people wouldn't even recognize. Verse 22: "And thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end." So which group of commandments is the Ten Commandments? And why are they so different anyway?

Friday Random Ten

2006-06-16T11:42:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. (Truly.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

Bonus: 50 Rockin' "Conservative" Songs.

And for the hell of it, let's go for fifteen.

1. Lovefool (The Cardigans, First Band on the Moon)
2. I Could Fly (Keith Urban, Be Here)
3. Tonight, Tonight (Smashing Pumpkins, Mix CD)
4. Something in the Air (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Greatest Hits)
5. The First Cut is the Deepest (Rod Stewart, Greatest Hits)
6. Music (Madonna, Music)
7. Indian War Whoop (John Hartford, O Brother soundtrack)
8. Marquee and the Moon (Sloan, Between the Bridges)
9. Take Me Out (Franz Ferdinand, Franz Ferdinand)
10. Le Redecouverte (Yann Tierson, Le Fabuleux Destin D'Amelie)
11. Knowing the Things That I Know (The Blow, Poor Aim: Love Songs)
12. Silver Springs (Fleetwood Mac, The Dance)
13. Polka on the Banjo (Bela Fleck, The Bluegrass Sessions)
14. Way Over Yonder (Carole King, Tapestry)
15. I Want to Break Free (Queen, Greatest Hits)

Hot or Not?

2006-06-14T15:51:00.000-04:00

Tonight I'm getting all gussied up to venture into Pittsburgh to the Benedum Center to watch the Beauty and the Beast musical. It's my friend's birthday wish to see a bunch of us buying overpriced tickets for a musical based on a Disney movie we all own, and we're all willing to oblige. Good times are surely ahead.

Quote of the Day?

"You're the guy -- I have sympathy for you because you're the guy who has to spray perfume on these turds."

-- John Stewart, interviewing GOP Chairman Ken Mehlman, referring to Mehlman's job of being the main Republican apologetic, on the Daily Show.

Humorous Sighting of the Day?

No, Chris, she's uglier than sin. But what does this have to do with news?

Friday Random Ten

2006-06-13T13:57:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. (Tuesday.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

For the sheer fun of it, and because I missed two weeks of lists, I'll give ya twenty for the price of ten!

1. Who Will Stop the Rain (CCR, Chronicle Vol. 1)
2. Someday (The Strokes, Is This It)
3. Uptown Girl (Billy Joel, Greatest Hits Vol. 2)
4. Say You Love Me (Fleetwood Mac, The Dance)
5. Light My Fire (The Doors, Best of the Doors Disc 1)
6. Blue Jay Way (The Beatles, Magical Mystery Tour)
7. Dance, Dance (Fall Out Boy, From Under the Cork Tree)
8. My Doorbell (White Stripes, Get Behind Me Satan)
9. Float On (Modest Mouse, Mix CD)
10. Wonders Never Cease (Morcheeba, The Antidote)
11. Posters (Jack Johnson, Brushfire Fairytales)
12. Lake of Fire (Nirvana, MTV Unplugged)
13. Find the Cost of Freedom (CSNY, So Far)
14. Come Monday (Jimmy Buffett, Songs You Know By Heart)
15. Back For Good (Take That, Nobody Else)
16. Cry Freedom (Dave Matthews Band, Crash)
17. Who Can It Be Now? (Men at Work, Sounds of the 80s: '82)
18. Could We (Cat Power, The Greatest)
19. Not Much Left (Jay Nash, Some Kind of Comfort)
20. Help (Howie Day, I Am Sam soundtrack)

Quote of the Day

2006-06-12T16:22:00.000-04:00

What's your agenda? How will you lead if the American public elects you? This is what people want to know. Two quotes competing for the quote of the day today deal with this subject, and the other is just funny.

"They don't have anything to say to anyone about anything that matters to anyone."

-- Pollster John Zogby, explaining why Democrats have not been able to capitalize on voter dissatisfaction with Republicans, quoted by CSMonitor.

or "All of my life I have stopped for turtles."

-- Rep. Katherine Harris, a Florida Republican Senate candidate, on her commitment to saving turtles on roads, quoted by Wonkette.

or "We talk about the Mounties getting their man, but I don't think a lot of people thought about getting their man this way."

-- Kaj Hasselriis of Canadians for Equal Marriage, on the marriage of two male members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, quoted by the Chicago Tribune.

Recap

2006-06-11T17:03:00.000-04:00

I didn't write much this week because I was too busy. But the most recent week from Hell officially ended yesterday night at approximately 10:30, so allow me to comment on the three biggest stories of last week.

One. The death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

He died.

Two. The Federal Marriage Amendment.

It died.

Three. Ann Coulter's comments.

She's dirty. And she doesn't go to church.

Quote of the Day

2006-06-07T21:25:00.000-04:00

"I don't believe there's any issue that's more important than this one."

-- Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), quoted by CNN, on banning gay marriage through a constitutional amendment.

or "I'm really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we've never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship."

-- Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK), standing before a large photograph of his family on the floor of the United States Senate, quoted by CSPAN2.

UPDATE://

Hold the presses, we have a newcomer to the race.

"As a recently married man, gay marriage will have no affect on me or my wife. The divorce rate in the United States currently stands around 50%. That is sad. Maybe the homos can do better than the rest of us and actually show us how to keep a marriage healthy. That’s a fat chance, but the reality is that gays will have no affect on the health of my marriage, so I do not care. Let the individual states decide by allowing the citizens to vote. Regardless, let’s stop wasting our time over this debate, as it has become just as irritating for me as those stupid gay pride marches. Let’s start addressing the REAL problems facing our country today, rather than playing politics for approval numbers."

-- The Conservative Cajun, on his blog.

Horse Hockey!

2006-06-06T22:59:00.000-04:00

No lie. Today, when I think 6/6/06 is a bunch of horse bologna, I log onto MySpace and find the number of times my profile has been viewed. I don't log on a lot, and I only have 50-some friends, but what are the chances of something like this happening on a date like this? Mysterious!

Maybe it'll be the premise for a new Dan Brown novel! You never know.

Movin' On Up!

2006-06-06T21:59:00.000-04:00

Oh hell yes. The latest Cook Political Report/RT Strategies poll shows President Bush's job approval at 37%, up a point from last month! And the latest USA Today/Gallup poll on President Bush's presidential job approval finds 36% of Americans approving of the job Bush is doing. Both polls have 57 percent of Americans disapproving. What does slightly more than half of America know anyway? Pshaw.

The Sign of Boredom

2006-06-06T21:42:00.000-04:00

I really don't have all that much to say. It's 6/6/06, and that's cool if you're in junior high, or in Hollywood, or are Ann Coulter. But otherwise, today has been just like any other day in the life of me. I woke up early after going to bed far too late, ate a healthy breakfast of orange juice and a piece of cinnamon toast, went to work and had fun doing what it is I do (my boss can't even tell ya what I do), came home for about 30 minutes after work, went to help out a friend work a dinner party at a country club, came back home and watched television (there's nothing on) and now I'm here.

Oh, and today was my mom's birthday. That was fun.

My Week as MIA

2006-06-05T17:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, so -- Last tuesday, the date of my last post, a ginormous storm smacked down on my little town an hour or two after dinner. Lightning was striking everywhere. Thunder came roaring down from the heavens and shaking the house. Rain and hail fell upon my bedroom windows in waves of noisy anger. And then the power went out.

With it went the telephone. Now, I can understand that telephone service and electricity would go hand in hand. Hell, their wires follow the same poles. But when power is out for only a few hours and telephone service is out for five days, there's something the matter! The electric company had a maintenance truck working on the telephone pole, which was struck my lightning, an hour or two after the storm subsided. After two and a half hours of work, a quarter til midnight, the power was restored just in time for an even larger thunderstorm. Though bigger and much more scary, this one did very little damage.

Five days. I didn't have Internet or telephone for five stinking days. It just returned yesterday afternoon. That is, of course, when I realized that lightning fried my modem. Without dial tone, I didn't realize that my modem wasn't working. Walmart doesn't carry what I needed so I had to wait until the local computer shop opened today.

And during my lunch break today, I called the telephone provider and pitched a big ole hissy fit explaining my dissatisfaction. But all is well now. I have the Internet, I have telephone, and I have caller id for free for two months. A small victory, alas, but one I am quite proud of.

Santorum Smack Down

2006-05-30T16:21:00.000-04:00

This is one-half of my state's senatorial representation in Washington.

From a Pittsburgh Post-Gazette editorial: "Before every election, the Post-Gazette routinely sends letters to the candidates seeking material for the Voters Guide. Back in March, as part of that process for the primary, the newspaper sent a letter to Rick Santorum at his home address, at least the one that he claims. Back from Penn Hills came the letter with a sticker from the U.S. Postal Service checked as Not Deliverable As Addressed -- Unable To Forward."

"That is all you need to know about the nasty dispute between the Republican Sen. Santorum and his Democratic opponent, Bob Casey Jr., in the November election. The whole thing is rooted in one inconvenient fact for Sen. Santorum: He doesn't live here anymore."

The World is an Imperfect Place

2006-05-29T17:26:00.000-04:00

What are you gonna do about it? You think anyone's gonna believe you? You think anyone's gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me. I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack of monkey shit, and everyone knows about it. Oh, you're a tough guy. Hey c'mon. Get on your feet pal! Let's find out how tough you are. I wanna know how tough you are. Let's go. C'mon man, just take the first shot. I'm begging you, take the first shot. Just take one good swing... Yeah, that's what I thought. You're a gutless turd.

You are already missed, Principal Vernon. You're already missed.

Take That, Satan!

2006-05-27T12:29:00.000-04:00

He's my homeboy. Not Satan, Patty.

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says he has leg-pressed 2,000 pounds... According to the CBN Web site, Robertson worked his way up to lifting a ton with the help of his physician, who is not named. The posting does not say when the lift occurred, but a CBN spokeswoman released photos to The Associated Press that she said showed Robertson lifting 2,000 pounds in 2003, when Robertson was 73.

He's so friggin awesome! A bone-crushing 2,000 pounds of weight came bearing down on his fragile 76 year old bones, and he pushed back against gravity and owned the ton because he believes in God and drinks his "his age-defying protein shake." And he's a modern-day prophet. What isn't to love?

Tapping Good Time

2006-05-27T11:44:00.000-04:00

In the gay community there has always been the notion, even subconsciously, that unprotected sex is okay because there is no risk of pregnancy. In a perfect world without the fear of sexually transmitted diseases, this is absolutely true. But the gay community does not live without that fear, and isn't the only stereotypical group to forget the basic tenet of protection against diseases.

After menopause -- as disturbing as that thought may be -- there is also no risk of pregnancy. In theory, old people can hump like rabbits until the sun comes up and no unplanned baby-sprouting would come of it. But there is always the risk of that burning, itching feeling the next day. Case in point:

A gynecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.

Sorry for the delay. I had to shower. Anyway, umm, yeah. Eww.

Friday Random Ten

2006-05-26T13:49:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. (It really is.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Fire Water Burn (Bloodhound Gang, One Fierce Beer Coaster)
2. Part-Time Lover (Stevie Wonder, Definitive Collection)
3. Fifty Cents (Dios Malos, Dios)
4. No Rain (Blind Melon, Blind Melon)
5. Linus and Lucy (Vince Guaraldi Trio, Peanuts Xmas)
6. Lie in Our Graves (Dave Matthews Band, Crash)
7. Closing Time (Semisonic, Now! 2)
8. American Idiot (Green Day, American Idiot)
9. Mamma Mia (ABBA, Gold)
10. Cleaning Windows (Van Morrison, Best of Van Morrison)

elsewhere
"Yesterday's Men" | Aux Armes Citoyens! | I Want a New Lawyer

Sexiest Veggie

2006-05-22T16:04:00.000-04:00

I have to disagree forcefully this year with Prince being voted the "world's sexiest vegetarian" in PETA's annual online poll. I'm as big of a fan of "Kiss" as they come, but Prince is anything but sexy. For a few years, he wasn't even a pronouncable word. With the list of sexy vegetarians so expansive, why him?

My vote would have to go for Bryan Adams or Paula Abdul. Or even Fiona Apple, Erykah Badu, Rivers Cuomo, Natalie Imbruglia, Joel Madden, Chris Martin, Morrissey, Mos Def or Ben Taylor. Or Christian Bale or Orlando Bloom. But not Prince. No, no. Mos' Def(initely) not Prince.

Just a Thought

2006-05-22T12:44:00.000-04:00

If you're going to accept $100,000 in dirty money, do make sure that there aren't any video cameras documenting the exchange, aight? How am I supposed to partisanly defend your character when you make it this hard?! Gosh.

elsewhere
A Mere 1 in 136 | Dude, He Watches CNN | Bush is "In Real Trouble."

Da Vinci Review

2006-05-22T01:38:00.000-04:00

Before I begin, I would like to give a general warning to everybody and anybody who worked on the movie: "You're on notice." The Da Vinci Code disappoints where it should uplift, crawls where it should fly, and misses out where it should provide the audience with such fascinating facts as the origin of the halo.

Having read this book last year, I walked out of the theater offended after seeing National Treasure. It was a tawdry rip-off of the Da Vinci Code book, hastily put together to ride the wave that the book was creating. It had no big plot-twists, no intelligent puzzles, no raison d'etre besides a way to make a few bucks. I can't stand Nicholas Cage, and its only saving grace was Justin Bartha. I walked out of the theater this evening feeling close to the same way.

It was a movie that neither compliments nor expands upon the book. To someone who perhaps had never read the novel, it might be a good movie with a few interesting "ah-ha" moments. But to even the casualest of readers, the movie is a waste of time and certainly not worth the $8.00 movie ticket.

Let's start with Ron Howard, the director of this mish-mosh of panicky camera shakes, ungraceful pans and nauseating close-ups. He holds a special place in my heart as the Narrator on Arrested Development, but I can only forgive so much. I liked his other works and had high hopes for the beauty that he brings to the screen. A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, Willow: these were great movies made even better by the majesty of the visuals. The Da Vinci Code is not his best work, nor is it a good work with regards to his directing ability. With the exception of a few beautiful shots of landmarks and buildings, and a "camera-through-glass" moment at the end of the movie, he disappoints. It's almost as if he just doesn't care. In any other movie -- say, perhaps, the sequel to the Italian Job -- a very interesting and jaw-dropping piece of camera work that takes place as the manic monk drives through the streets of Paris would fit in perfectly. Here, it seems out of place and almost gaudy and over the top.

And then there's Tom Hanks. Not my first choice for the role of Robert Langdon, nor my second, third or fourth choice either. In fact, when reading the book the thought of Tom Hanks playing the lead role never once crossed my mind. My choice would've been Aaron Eckhart, from such great movies as Erin Brockovich and The Core. He would've been perfect, and I stand by my choice. Hanks, on the other hand, while wildly talented and an accomplished actor, gave nothing and received nothing from the audience. His delivery was off, his facial expressions pained. I felt embarrassed for him.

His on-screen counterpart, the beautiful and wild-eyed Audrey Tautou, of Amelie fame, was a perfect casting. As was Jean Reno as Captain Fache and Ian McKellen as Sir Leigh Teabing. Each did their part and with the exception of Mr. Reno, each stole any scene they shared with Mr. Hanks, though none of them extraordinarily well.

Perhaps I would watch the movie again, if only to see Paul Bettany's bare ass -- and what a mighty nice ass it is. Or maybe just to see Jean-Yves Berteloot's lips. Or maybe to see the preview for X-Men: The Last Stand again. But yeah, aside from a few adolescent crushes and an adolescent need for geeky comic book movies, I give the movie two and a half stars out of five, or three at most. If you feel the need to watch it, do so when it's out on video. Read the book. You'll be better off.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-21T14:04:00.000-04:00

Long before the incident in which Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines said what millions of Texans feel as well: "Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas," the United States concerts on the Dixie Chicks' tour were already sold out. Promoters offered refunds, although there were more requests for new tickets than there were returns. Protesters showed up outside concerts; others burned Dixie Chicks albums.

"We have video footage of this lady at one of the shows protesting, holding her 2-year-old son," Ms. Maines said. The woman commanded her son to shout along with an angry chant. "And I was just like, that's it right there. That's the moment that it's taught. She just taught her 2-year-old how to hate. And that broke my heart."

Look at This Photograph

2006-05-21T11:59:00.000-04:00

Maybe, just maybe if millions of copies of this photograph were distributed around the Middle East, people would start to come to their senses. The photograph, taken for Reuters by Dave Buimovitch, shows no fewer than four Israeli medics working to save the life of Maj. Gen. Tareq Abu Rajab, the Palestinian intelligence chief, who was wounded in a bombing at his headquarters in Gaza City.

It's amazing, Israelis helping a member of a government hellbent on their government's destruction. Perhaps it's the oath to save any life. Perhaps it's in their moral fiber. But maybe, just maybe they know they could be the visual that turns people's minds.

Friday Random Ten

2006-05-19T14:49:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. (It really is.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Take My Breath Away (Berlin, mix cd)
2. Don't Tell Me (Madonna, Music)
3. Butterflies and Airplanes (The Clarks, Let It Go)
4. Let Me Be the One (Blessid Union of Souls, Home)
5. In the Waiting Line (Zero 7, Garden State soundtrack)
6. 99 Luftballoons (Nena, Best of the '84)
7. Heya (Outkast, Speakerboxxx)
8. Way Over Yonder (Carole King, Tapestry)
9. 2 Become 1 (Spice Girls, Spice)
10. Sweet Dreams (Marilyn Manson, Smells Like Children)

I'm All Blinged Out

2006-05-19T13:54:00.000-04:00

This has always bothered me. Is the past tense of bling, blinged or blung? Am I all blinged out or blung out? My freshman year of college, my friends went sky diving and on the way back from the airport we had a little debate about the past tense of sky dive. My friends either sky dived or sky dove, but which is it? Who gets to choose the proper conjugations of new verbs? Personally, I think it should be me, but I'll defer to a professional like Noam Chomsky.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-18T16:50:00.000-04:00

"Of course she got more signatures than me. She had all her ex-husbands sign."

-- Kinky Friedman, independent candidate for Texas governor, after a rival, thrice-married Carole Keeton Strayhorn, former press secretary Scott McClellan's mother, amassed at least 50,000 more signatures than he did to get on the November ballot.

That's Nuts!

2006-05-18T16:23:00.000-04:00

Cutting off the tip of a sleeping man's penis is one thing, but ripping off his ball sac with your bare hands is quite the other. I mean, dude, there are rules you have to live by. Don't hit a woman, don't drink milk after the expiration date, and don't mar the twig and berries. Come on!

Quote of the Day

2006-05-17T16:37:00.000-04:00

"It's unclear."

-- Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, appearing on CNN, on if his Mexican grandparents settled in the U.S. legally.

Scarborough Country

2006-05-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

As it does every week, Dr. Rick Scarborough's report on the weekly news and how it relates to homophobic, reactionary "Christianists" landed in my inbox at a little after 3:00pm EST today. The report this week, always partisan and never intelligent, had this to say to Dr. Scarborough's audience, "During the last election cycle some of the most dedicated Christian men and women in Congress were elected and others were returned. While still the minority, we are making progress."

Who exactly is the "we" to whom he is referring in the last sentence? Christians? Republicans? The first piece in the report is one dedicated to taking the First Lady to task for wishing that politicians wouldn't make the Marriage Amendment a central part of their campaigns. So is Scarborough possibly referring to bigots? I don't know. But the comment doesn't make sense.

Is he claiming that Christians are in the minority in Congress? Since when? Is he claiming that Republicans are in the minority in Congress? Since when? Is he claming that Republican Christians are in the minority in Congress? That bigotted Republican Christians are in the minority? Is this nothing more than a ploy?

Although he and I agree on almost nothing, I'd have more respect for him and the like if he would stop playing the victim and just come out and speak his mind and let people either agree or disagree. He's white, Christian, straight and rich -- and a Republican at a time when Republicans control both houses of Congress and the White House. How much less of a victim could he be?

Quote of the Day

2006-05-16T20:39:00.000-04:00

"...John Gibson is a big blubbering racist vagina."

-- Kyle, from A Shot in the Arm.

A Sea of Blue

2006-05-16T16:40:00.000-04:00

If every county in the country were given a color designating whether fifty percent or more of those polled approved (red) or disapproved (blue) of President Bush's job performance, the landscape would be a sea of blue, blue, blue. If every state in the country were given a color using the same standard, only three states would be red. I just find it interesting.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-15T15:59:00.000-04:00

"This is our government at work, and unfortunately it is run by Republicans."

-- Rev. Pat Robertson, quoted by the Manassas Journal Messenger.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-14T21:56:00.000-04:00

"When reporters at both papers were awarded Pulitzer Prizes last month, administration surrogates, led by bloviator in chief William Bennett, called for them to be charged under the 1917 Espionage Act.

"We can see this charade for what it is: a Hail Mary pass by the leaders who bungled a war and want to change the subject to the journalists who caught them in the act. What really angers the White House and its defenders about both the Post and Times scoops are not the legal questions the stories raise about unregulated gulags and unconstitutional domestic snooping, but the unmasking of yet more administration failures in a war effort riddled with ineptitude. It's the recklessness at the top of our government, not the press's exposure of it, that has truly aided the enemy, put American lives at risk and potentially sabotaged national security. That's where the buck stops, and if there's to be a witch hunt for traitors, that's where it should begin."

-- Frank Rich, in his Sunday opinion column for The New York Times.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-13T22:10:00.000-04:00

"The NSA would like to remind everyone to call their mothers this Sunday. They need to calibrate their system."

-- Bruce Schneier, on his weblog.

Mother's Day Eve Walmart Fun

2006-05-13T20:52:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday night I went to Walmart and spent a butt load of money on stuff that I really didn't need but thought would be nice to have. We are living in a material world, I suppose. Tonight was a little different. Last-minute Mother's Day shopping is an art, and I've seen some very scary artists this evening.

My favorite, of course, was the man wearing the American MC Hammer pants made popular by Rex on Napoleon Dynamite. Do not let this picture fool you. The man at Walmart was about 150 pounds heavier, with a gut begging to escape his too-tight t-shirt, tennis shoes with velcro, a goatee and a mullet. His family was equally frightening with their matching mullets. Now I don't have anything against people with bad haircuts. In junior high I was known to sport a bowl cut, myself, so I cannot judge the hair-stylings of others. But it was the fad back then. Everyone had bowl cuts and I looked damn good. No one ever, ever, looked good while sporting a mullet. Business on top, party in the back: It's a fashion don't.

So why on earth would parents subject their children to their own flaws? But then, how can one ask such a question when children grow up Republican simply because their parents were Republican?

On a completely random side-note, I witnessed something today I had never seen before. I saw a bird in flight crap on a car. And this wasn't just any car. This was a car that had cut me off on the highway just a few minutes before. This was a car whose driver flipped me off simply because I was obeying traffic laws and going 45 mph in a construction zone. But he got his comeuppance. All over his windshield.

Oh, and I saw a high school classmate of mine at Walmart this evening that I hadn't seen since graduation. He was a cocky asshole in school and so we never got along. I'm happy to see he's still short.

Bad Teeth Care

2006-05-13T13:35:00.000-04:00

LONDON (Reuters) -- More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday.

The National Dental Survey found that, when it came to oral hygiene, people used whatever was close to hand to pick their teeth. More than 60 percent questioned by the British Dental Health Foundation said they used makeshift items, including knives, keys, needles and forks.

The survey also found that 23 percent of people chose to leave food stuck between their teeth, increasing the risk of gum disease and bad breath, according to the foundation which promotes oral health.

Friday Random Ten

2006-05-13T11:38:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. (Just pretend.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Babylon (David Gray, White Ladder)
2. Bittersweet Symphony (The Verve, Urban Hymns)
3. Silver Springs (Fleetwood Mac, The Dance)
4. Pour Some Sugar On Me (Def Leopard, Hysteria)
5. Keep On the Sunny Side (The Whites, O Brother soundtrack)
6. Tainted Love (Soft Cell, Sounds of the 80s)
7. Rock DJ (Robbie Williams, Sing When You're Winning)
8. Freedom 90 (George Michael, Best of George Michael)
9. Love Will Tear Us Apart (Jose Gonzalez, Live at Konserthuset)
10. A Woman Like You (Stephen Clair, Under the Bed)

Oh No! Another Poll

2006-05-13T11:25:00.000-04:00

A good many months ago, a moderate neo-con who joined the ranks because it was once the cool thing to do argued with me over the awesomeness of George W. The President, he contended with utter conviction, will be viewed upon in the future as the greatest president. Not to be outdone, I argued that Clinton was pretty damn awesome too. Our argument went on for a few days and stopped when neither of us would give another inch. But it would seem I won.

A new CNN poll finds that Americans strongly prefer former President Clinton to President Bush on a wide range of issues. Americans said Clinton did a better job than Bush:

* On the economy, 63% to 26%
* On solving the problems of ordinary Americans, 62% to 25%
* On foreign affairs, 56% to 32%
* On taxes, 51% to 35%
* On handling natural disasters, 51% to 30%
* On national security, 46% to 42%
* On honesty, 46% to 41%

Not that I'm tooting my own horn or anything, but na na na na na.

And I'm Free, Free Fallin'

2006-05-12T14:31:00.000-04:00

Twenty-nine percent presidential approval rating. Eighteen percent congressional approval rating. Sixty-nine percent say "things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track." Let the spin begin.

Nappy Time

2006-05-12T14:13:00.000-04:00

U.S. President George W. Bush speaks during a meeting about the situation in Iraq with current and former U.S. secretaries of state and defense at the White House in Washington May 12, 2006. From left are Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Vice President Dick Cheney, Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Born Again Hack

2006-05-10T20:19:00.000-04:00

Former Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell wants to trick the American people into believing that former boy-band members can become successful Christian pop singers. I beg to differ. No matter how many ways he slices it, bad music is bad music in any genre. I just feel bad for the millions of tweens -- and the tweens' parents and siblings -- who will buy the crap out of loyalty and misplaced sexual desire.

Littrell called his past experience with the Backstreet Boys a "mere stepping stone." We at this blog like to call it the rightful end of a career. But we forget, isn't he supposed to be the gay one?

No Third Term for Him!

2006-05-09T20:23:00.000-04:00

With startlingly unstartling news, the New York Times/CBS News' most recent poll has the President's approval rating at its lowest point, with a scanty thirty-one percent, "tying the low point of his father, George H. W. Bush, in July 1992, four months before the elder Mr. Bush lost his bid for a second term to Bill Clinton."

Quote of the Day

2006-05-08T16:58:00.000-04:00

"That's George Washington, the first President, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three -- three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"

-- President George W. Bush, interviewed by Kai Diekmann of BILD.

We Don't Need No Water

2006-05-08T16:00:00.000-04:00

After all that the White House is doing in a desperate attempt to cauterize the profuse bleeding of its influence and, dare I say, political capital, it's completely astounding -- bewildering -- that the President could possibly slip even further into oblivion.

The White House even sent instructions to federal agencies mandating that talking points on the Iraq war be included in every speech, regardless of the topic, to bring a cheery face to that which more and more Americans now find unneeded. But all this damage control isn't working. The President's approval rating has dropped even more according to the new USA Today/Gallup poll.

A mere thirty-one percent of Americans approve of Mr. Bush's handling of his job. And a record sixty-five percent disapprove. Here is what thirty-one percent looks like compared to sixty-five percent.

<--- 31%
<--- 65%

It's going to take a lot more than some cosmetic make-up, ordered cheeriness and a rescue attempt of two puppies to bring the GOP -- along with the President -- back to safe ground.

Robert Novak remarked yesterday that the word on Capitol Hill is that Republican National Chairman Kenneth Mehlman recently warned Republican lawmakers that 45 seats could be lost in the House on Election Day. And today Hotline on Call observes the defeatism that has overtaken the chairman.

Ken Mehlman, generally one of the party's premiere strategic optimists, warned GOP state chairs that the party would lose seats at every level of government. Not "if" they didn't do X, Y, or GOTV. But "would lose," period. ...

The corollary: the more Republicans confront Pres. Bush, the more they localize national sentiment, which in turn could provoke a higher turnout among independents, which in turn could cost the party even more House, Senate and GOV seats.

What an interesting next couple months this is going to be.

Impulse Shopping

2006-05-08T00:22:00.000-04:00

So tonight I go to Walmart for some toothpaste. I squeezed the very last bit from the tube this morning and I definitely need some before bed tonight and for when I wake up in the morning. Toothpaste, you know, is one of those fairly important life necessities.

I leave Walmart thirty minutes later with a fifty-dollar bill. Seems to me that along the way to the toothpaste aisle, I stopped to get some Febreeze, deoderant, a gallon of water, a new pillow, two new pillow cases, a flat sheet and a fitted sheet to match the new pillow cases, some lunch meat, some swiss cheese for the lunch meat, two types of bread for the lunch meat and cheese, bananas, apples, some caramel for my apples, a red pepper, a Frappuccino and a box of Ramen noodles. But it's all such a blur.

I think I need to rest. My head hurts just thinking about it all.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-07T18:34:00.000-04:00

"I would say the best moment of [my presidency] was when I caught a 7.5 pound perch in my lake."

-- President George W. Bush, quoted by Reuters.

or "This administration may be over. By and large, if you want to be tough about it, the relevancy of this administration on policy may be over."

-- Pollster Lance Tarrance, "a chief architect of the Republicans' 1960s and '70s Southern strategy," quoted by the Washington Post.

Friday Random Ten

2006-05-05T13:19:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Crazy Life (Toad the Wet Sprocket, Empire Records soundtrack)
2. Tapestry (Carole King, Tapestry)
3. The Way You Move (Big Boi, Speakerboxxx)
4. Wild World (Cat Stevens, Cat Stevens: Greatest Hits)
5. Why Don't We Get Drunk (Jimmy Buffett, Songs You Know By Heart)
6. Warm Love (Van Morrison, Best of Van Morrison)
7. The Gift (Moon Boot Lover, Back on Earth)
8. Don't Stop Me Now (Queen, Greatest Hits)
9. Do I Do (Stevie Wonder, Definitive Collection)
10. We Belong Together (Mariah Carey, Emancipation of Mimi)

Some Thoughts for Friday

2006-05-05T11:31:00.000-04:00

With just six months until midterm elections and an overall approval rating of just thirty-three percent, the lowest of his presidency as recorded by the AP-Ipsos, President Bush also has to conted with an astonishing forty-five percent of self-described conservatives disapproving and critical of his policies. If that number doesn't soon change, self-described conservatives may just stay at home in November because, as we know, elections in the middle of a president's term traditionally favor the party whose core supporters are the most energized.

It ought to be also noted that with the thirty-three percent approval rating, only one president in the past six decades had a lower job approval rating six months before a midterm election -- Richard Nixon in May 1974.

Additionally, a majority of Americans say they want Democrats rather than Republicans to control Congress, 51% to 34%, including thirty-one percent of conservatives. Think about that one for a moment.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-05T11:26:00.000-04:00

"I think he's the dumbest president we've ever had. I disapprove of a lot of the stuff he's doing. This war was a big boo boo and he won't admit he did wrong."

-- Mark Rauzi, a conservative voter from Gillespie, Ill., to the AP.

Catastrophe

2006-05-04T17:46:00.000-04:00

From Human Events Online: "RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman met with Republican members of Congress this week to impress upon them just how bad the opinion polls are looking for them, and warning that they face a possible catastrophe in November."

elsewhere
She Said Yes, Kinda | "The Jackel" and a Chemical Suit | Slap Slap!

For Pete's Sake

2006-05-04T16:59:00.000-04:00

My gmail account isn't working this afternoon. I have a few emails I need to send out as soon as possible and I can't access my inbox or my address book. Google Talk isn't even working. Anyone else having any trouble or could it just be my computer? It's been known to mess up from time to time.

Update: | 5:56pm | It seems to be working again. Praise the Lord, pass the ammunition and knock on wood.

Ahchoo.

2006-05-02T20:56:00.000-04:00

My morning started with a sneezing fit that lasted until I got into the shower. For the rest of the day I was dogged by sneezes, blurry eyes, itchy ears and a mild sinus headache that wouldn't let up. It's allergy season, folks, and I feel like crap.

I don't have much else to say.

Testing the Water

2006-05-01T23:19:00.000-04:00

According to a new CBS poll, there's not much good news for the president or his policies. Here's a quick synopsis.

Presidential Approval Rating

Approve -- (A new low for the president in a CBS poll.)
33%
Disapprove
58%

Presidential Approval Rating among Republicans

Approve
68%
Disapprove
23%

Presidential Approval Rating among Democrats

Approve
6%
Disapprove
88%

President's Handing of Iraq

Approve
30%
Disapprove
64%

President's Handling of the Economy

Approve
31%
Disapprove
58%

Direction of the Country

Right Direction
24%
Wrong Track
71%

Does the Bush administration have a clear plan for keeping gas prices down?

Yes
8%
No
82%

Who would be more effective in keeping the price of gas down?

Democrats
47%
Republicans
20%

Makes You Go "Hmm..."

2006-05-01T18:07:00.000-04:00

"You should send all of the 13 million aliens home, then you take all of the welfare recipients who are taking a free check and make them do those jobs. It's as simple as that."

-- Jack Culberson, a retired Army colonel, to the AP.

Queen Quote Monday

2006-05-01T17:15:00.000-04:00

I can dim the lights / And sing you songs full of sad things / We can do the tango just for two / I can serenade and gently play / On your heart strings / Be your Valentino just for you.

-- "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy," A Day at the Races.

elsewhere
Mission UnAccomplished | Who Did He Speak To? | 10-point Advantage

Being High Ain't Cool

2006-05-01T16:20:00.000-04:00

The price of gas has almost doubled in the six years of the Bush reign -- growing more than sixty-cents in just the past month. What grand plan does our fearless Senate Majority Leader propose to help out his fellow American citizens? Why, treat them like a bunch of cheap whores, of course.

Some Senate Republicans, few as they might be, proposed paying off 100 million tax-paying Americans -- regardless of car ownership -- with $100 each to assuage their tempers and allegedly pad their pocket books while they wait -- an estimated three-years -- before the price of gas begins to stabilize and decrease.

Needless to say, it ain't going over very well.

"The conservatives think it is socialist bunk, and the liberals think it is conservative trickery," said Don Stewart, a spokesman for Senator John Cornyn, Republican of Texas.

U.S. Senator Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) called the proposal "political nonsense." Republican Senator Trent Lott said he doesn't "think much about the $100 rebate." And Senator Conrad Burns said, "There're some dumb ideas in this."

In commentary on Fox News Sunday, Brit Hume called the idea "silly."

And speaking of gas-bags, Rush Limbaugh doesn't like it either. He asked recently on his radio program, "What kind of insult is this?"

*Disclaimer* -- I don't know the context of this quotation. Therefore I cannot be one-hundred percent certain it was asked in relation to this story or when Mr. Limbaugh found out he must submit to random drug tests as part of his plea deal with the police. --

But regardless of Mr. Limbaugh's criminal past, I cannot overlook the one thing on which we both agree. He demanded, with regards to the high gas prices, "Instead of buying us off and treating us like we're a bunch of whores, just solve the problem." I couldn't agree more.

*Amusing Side Point* -- Coincidentally, of course, the time I published this post and the title of this post are rather amusing. But we here at friends in blue places wish to remind our readers: Hugs, Not Drugs.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-01T16:14:00.000-04:00

"Ohio Republican insiders predict the primary election victory Tuesday of Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell, an iconoclastic supply-sider, but mourn that his nomination will lead to the state's first Democratic governor in 16 years... They claim Blackwell's support for budget cuts and tax cuts will cost him against Rep. Ted Strickland, the probable Democratic nominee who is an experienced candidate."

-- Robert Novak, in the Sun Times.

Congratulations

2006-05-01T15:58:00.000-04:00

Although I am last on his blogroll, after the likes of the Ten Commandments Defense Fund, The Minutemen Project and the official Charlie Daniels Band website, I would like to take this time to wish frequent-commenter and blog-writer Nick -- from The Conservative Cajun -- all the luck and a wonderful wedding in twenty-six days.

Here's to wishing they produce liberal-minded children.

Bumper Cars

2006-04-30T15:35:00.000-04:00

A bumper sticker seen today in Pittsburgh...

"George W. -- We will be forever in his debt."

$23 trillion in debt, to be exact. In five years.

Quote of the Day

2006-04-30T12:56:00.000-04:00

"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

or "If anybody needs anything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from the N.S.A. will be right over with a cocktail."

or "Fox [News] believes in presenting both sides of the story — the president’s side and the vice president’s side."

or "Let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know -- fiction."

-- Stephen Colbert, at the WH Correspondents Dinner.

Schidt

2006-04-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

According to the Dayton Daily News, in a unanimous ruling, the Ohio Elections Commission found that Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-OH) "violated campaign law by claiming on her Web site last year that she had two college degrees when she had only one."

You may remember her as the patriotically decked-out woman who shamefully questioned the patriotism of Rep. John P. Murtha (D-PA). What a class act.

Oxy Moronic

2006-04-29T00:57:00.000-04:00

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. AP -- The Palm Beach County, Florida, sheriff's office says Rush Limbaugh has been arrested on prescription fraud charges.

Limbaugh turned himself in to authorities on a warrant issued by the state attorney's office, said agency spokesperson Teri Barbera. The conservative radio commentator came into the jail about 4 p.m with his attorney, Roy Black, and was released an hour later on $3,000 bail. The warrant was for fraud to conceal information to obtain prescription, Barbera said.

Quote of the Day

2006-04-28T14:26:00.000-04:00

"I happen to believe we're losing our moral authority to lead this place. It's been over a decade since my party took over the majority and I feel like we've forgotten how we got here."

-- Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Connecticut), quoted by the AP.

Friday Random Ten

2006-04-28T11:46:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Guinnevere (CSN&Y, So Far)
2. Underneath Your Clothes (Shakira, Laundry Service)
3. Bar Fight (The Can't See, Coma Comma No More)
4. Allentown (Billy Joel, Greatest Hits, Vol. 2)
5. Sale (Frances, Frances)
6. Welcome to Paradise (Green Day, Dookie)
7. Brick (Ben Folds Five, Whatever and Ever Amen)
8. On Top (The Killers, Hot Fuss)
9. Spoon (Dave Matthews Band, Before These Crowded Streets)
10. Say You'll Be There (Spice Girls, Spice)

A Thousand Words

2006-04-28T11:39:00.000-04:00

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV, which uses gasoline, after holding a new conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive back the few block back to the U.S. Capitol. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

You, Sir, Are No Christian

2006-04-27T21:47:00.000-04:00

While it is obviously very important to fundamentalist Christians that only those political candidates who share a deep respect for and an obsessive adherence to their version of Christianity are worthy of public office, the fundamentalist leaders are becoming more picky about their definition of a Christian. Or so hears Robert Novak of Massachusett's Republican governor, Mitt Romney, a Mormon.

"Prominent, respectable Evangelical Christians have told me, not for quotation, that millions of their co-religionists cannot and will not vote for Romney for president solely because he is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If Romney is nominated and their abstention results in the election of Hillary Rodham Clinton, that's just too bad. The evangelicals are adamant, saying there is no way Romney can win them over."

Queen Quote Monday

2006-04-24T20:59:00.000-04:00

I'm burning through the sky / Two hundred degrees / That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit / I'm traveling at the speed of light / I wanna make a supersonic man out of you.

-- "Don't Stop Me Now," Jazz.

Quote of the Day

2006-04-24T20:47:00.000-04:00

"It's really weird right now. People are worried about their jobs."

-- A senior White House official, quoted by Newsweek.

Quote of the Day

2006-04-23T15:15:00.000-04:00

"We have to do two things. One, disqualify the Republicans, and two, provide an alternative. The first part, they've done for us, and the second part, we need to do."

-- Georgia Democratic Party Chairman Bobby Kahn, quoted by the Washington Post.

Lower Than Low

2006-04-22T20:27:00.000-04:00

No matter how unpopular the least popular Senator in the United States Senate is, President Bush's approval rating is even lower. The least popular Senator in the Senate is none other than one of the senators from my state of Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum. His approval rating is 39 percent with 53 percent disapproving. President Bush has a 33 percent approval rating with 57 percent disapproving. How sad is that?

Forward March

2006-04-22T20:10:00.000-04:00

"We believe that the House definitely is 'in play,' and the key to whether Republicans can maintain control is whether they can discredit individual Democratic challengers who otherwise would be positioned to win. We are increasing our estimate of likely Democratic gains from 5-8 seats to 7-10 seats (they need to net 15 seats for control), with a bias toward even greater Democratic gains."

-- Rothenberg Political Report

Friday Random Ten

2006-04-21T12:54:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Disconnect (UHF, All Our Golden Tomorrows)
2. Shot Through the Heart (Bon Jovi, mix cd)
3. Goodbye Love (Rosario Dawson, et. al., Rent soundtrack)
4. Infinite Tamboura (Rusted Root, When I Woke)
5. Seven Nation Army (White Stripes, Elephant)
6. Sassafras Roots (Green Day, Dookie)
7. Liar (Cranberries, Empire Records soundtrack)
8. Here Comes the Night (Van Morrison, Best of Van Morrison)
9. Kiss (Prine, The Hits)
10. JTR (Dave Matthews Band, Lillywhite Sessions)

Worst President... Ever?

2006-04-21T12:48:00.000-04:00

Historian Sean Wilentz states the case in Rolling Stone: "George W. Bush's presidency appears headed for colossal historical disgrace. Barring a cataclysmic event on the order of the terrorist attacks of September 11th, after which the public might rally around the White House once again, there seems to be little the administration can do to avoid being ranked on the lowest tier of U.S. presidents. And that may be the best-case scenario. Many historians are now wondering whether Bush, in fact, will be remembered as the very worst president in all of American history."

Damn, get the man some lotion for that burn!

Best Week Ever Rip-Off

2006-04-20T09:32:00.000-04:00

It may only be Thursday, but what a week it's been.

Last week ended with retired Generals speaking their minds over Rumsfeld's leadership, or lack thereof. Then came a tellingly forceful vote of confidence from the president. Rummy then made a stand saying he ain't going nowhere, and also claiming that "the implication that there was something wrong with the war plan is amusing." Sen. John McCain then admitted that he's "a bit resentful" of the Rummster "for the way the war has been poorly handled" at about the same time Tim Russert claimed that a "person close to the president" told him the President couldn't fire Rumsfeld because "it would be the equivalent of firing himself" for decisions made in Iraq. But CBS Evening News anchor Bob Schieffer remarked with wit, "It was also this president who said, 'Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job,'and that was just before Brownie got canned."

And then there's the phone-jamming scandal in New Hampshire that's getting bigger and juicier. A scandal, it would seem, that might even envelope indicted former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who was recently asked not so nicely to leave and never come back by a Texas magazine.

And of course there's the news that Press Secretary Scott McClellan is leaving the White House. Also coming from the White House is news that Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove has been demoted, about which George Stephanopoulos recently observed, "The real news [about the White House shake-up] is the wrist slap for Karl Rove." Hardly what Democrats wanted, but more than Democrats truly expected.

Then there's the expletive at the end of a correspondence from Rep. Jo Ann Emerson, R-Mo., to a resident of her southeast Missouri district. The letter ended with "I think you're an asshole." To be fair, the Associated Press will only go as far as to say the expletive is "a profane, seven-letter insult beginning with the letter a." It is commonly accepted that the AP is referring to "asshole," but I hold that she could have written "asswipe."

And last, but certainly not least, we come to the new FOX News polling data. Not only does the poll give the President the lowest approval rating of his six-year stint as Decider-in-Chief (thirty-three percent), but his support among Republicans has also reached a nadir (sixty-six percent). This is the first time the approval among his own party has ever dipped below seventy percent. His approval among Democrats is an embarrassing eleven percent.

And it's only Thursday.

Signs of End Times

2006-04-19T08:56:00.000-04:00

Twice today -- twice! -- I've witnessed two different drivers on two different ends of town not obeying traffic laws and almost causing a wreck. And it's only 8:56 in the morning.

An unmarked, white van attempted to pass me on the shoulder of a road outside of town not far from a sign that says explicitly not to pass on the shoulder. After coming inches from swiping the front end of my car as he attempted to get back into the lane, he sped off very quickly. Then, on the other end of town, a huge-ass ice truck tried to go straight while in a turning lane. Homey don't play that. He, too, came within inches from crashing into the front end of a sixteen-wheeler.

But I digress. There are five things in this world that scare me to death. There's an old saying in Pennsylvania, I know it's in Texas, probably in Pennsylvania -- that says, scare me once. Ah, I digress again.

There are five things in this world that scare me to death, and one of them is nuclear war. Another is bees. I hate bees. Another is the thought of Tom Cruise reproducing. Well, my friends, the apolcalypse may be upon us. Too many countries in the world have nuclear warheads, I saw the first bumblebee of the season two days ago, and now Tom Cruise is a father.

Antichrist, thy name is Suri.

Oh, and Michael Jackson is hard at work -- get it? "hard" at work, hehe -- on a new album.

State Fish

2006-04-18T12:13:00.000-04:00

In Hawaii, a small fish with a big name, humuhumunukunukuapuaa, is looking to take the title of State Fish once again after a decade of interrupted rule. By comparison, Pennsylvania's Brook Trout is now rather uninteresting.

Up the Potomac

2006-04-17T17:03:00.000-04:00

US Senator Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma) recently said he expects that six congressmen and a fellow senator will go to jail for their involvement in the Abramoff scandal. He went on to explain rather mysteriously that "if you've been keeping up with things, you've got a pretty good idea" of who the seven lawmakers are. I haven't, and I don't. Any ideas?

elsewhere
A Well-Woven Conspiracy! | They Bluffed | If You Dreamz It

Friday Random Ten

2006-04-14T10:54:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Waitin' for a Superman (Iron & Wine, Yeti)
2. Bouncin' Around the Room (Phish, mix cd)
3. Just What I Needed (The Cars, Anthology Disc I)
4. Freedom 90 (George Michael, The Best of George Michael)
5. Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye (Chantal Kreviazuk, mix cd)
6. Who Can It Be Now? (Men at Work, Best of the 80s: '82)
7. Killer Queen (Queen, Best of Queen)
8. The Sound of Failure (Flaming Lips, At War With the Mystics)
9. God Bless This Child (Billie Holiday, Blues Collection)
10. Don't Turn Around (Ace of Bace, The Sign)

elsewhere
Papa Can You Hear Me? | Hopping Mad | Smell Ya Later

Post Birthday

2006-04-13T21:36:00.000-04:00

Okay so while my birth day was kinda craptacular, the following two days more than made up for the letdown. Having a birthday on a Tuesday isn't the coolest thing in the world anyway. But Wednesday and Thursday were great.

My coworkers bought some pizza for my birthday from my favorite pizzeria in all of the tri-state region for lunch on Wendesday. And for dessert, we ate homemade carrot cake, without raisins or coconut -- just the way I like it.

In the afternoon after my friend went to church to do her Catholic confession thing before Easter, she and I went to the tennis courts and broke out our rackets after the long, long winter. She beat me so bad I almost couldn't get out of bed this morning.

Then today after a horribly long day at work, two of our friends joined my friend and me for a doubles match at the courts. That was the most fun I had in a few weeks. While I enjoy having more than just one friend there to talk to during a match, I think I prefer singles if only because I move around more and burn more energy off. Our match -- if you even wanted to call it that -- was called off after about an hour because of imminent lightning flashing off in the distance. There's nothing safe about swinging metal rackets around on a flat tennis court in a ski resort up in the mountains during a thunderstorm.

And yesterday I found an until-now lost cache of CDs I burnt in college, which included the Lillywhite Sessions CD from Dave Matthews Band. The memories that disc brings back. I can still remember when that bootlegged album hit the Internets and every kid on campus had a copy. I never thought I'd hear the end of it.

My favorite song has to be Grace is Gone. It's classic Dave with his honey voice and smooth melodies. And a chorus I can't stop humming. I don't know why, but it now makes me think of Grace Park, who plays Lieutenant Junior Grade Sharon Valerii, aka Number Eight on the remake of Battlestar Galactica, which is a kickass show. So from all angles, it's a great CD.

And if the rain ever subsides, it'll be a great weekend.

It Was a Very Good Day

2006-04-10T23:10:00.000-04:00

As I write this, I have nary 50 minutes until my birthday. But that's an eternity away yet, and I think April 10th is far more interesting.

In elementary school at recess, on top of the monkey bars far away from where the bullies played dodgeball with unsuspecting participants, a classmate of mine and I laughed at those less fortunate than we as they got smacked in the face with balls. We laughed not so much because we knew we were better than those being pummelled but rather because it could have very well been us down there. It was a bonding experience for this kid named Chris and me, and we remained close friends, if not always best friends, until graduation.

As it turns out, his birthday was the day before mine of the same year: April 10.

In college, after my first attempt of befriending a group of people didn't turn out exactly as I planned, I started hanging out with another set of friends. I really liked them a lot and we all got along really well, but they already had time to mesh together. I was an invading force trying to make room in this tight-knit posse for myself. While I knew they liked me being around, I could tell that for some the verdict was still out on my awesomeness.

In my profile for instant messenger, I had the lyrics to "See My Vest" as sung by Mr. Burns on The Simpsons. It was one of the first songs I downloaded from Napster and a song that I still have on my harddrive today. I wrote the lyrics down as I understood them to be from listening, but near the end there was a spot that tripped me up a bit.

One of the guys from this group of friends, Steve, lived almost directly above me in my dormitory. One evening after dinner, when our friends retired to their rooms to work on academic stuff until we got back together to watch television or whatnot, he knocked on my door, handed me a piece of paper and said, "I thought you might need this," and left. It was the complete lyrics to the "See My Vest" song that he printed out from the Internets.

I later found out that reading the lyrics in my profile was the moment he realized I was cool and wanted me in the group. After that, Steve and I were best friends.

His birthday was the day before mine of the same year: April 10.

It's fate. And it's today. April 10. A very, very good day.

Headline of the Year

2006-04-10T01:22:00.000-04:00

San Francisco May Be World's Gayest City

Very funny stuff. But what's not so funny is that approximately twenty-five percent of the homosexual population in San Fran is HIV positive. Being a member of an "alternative lifestyle" does not give one free reign to practice irresponsible behavior. Before you hump, cover your stump. Before you love, wear the glove. Before you go silly, cover your willy. Before you dock, protect your -- you see what I'm getting at.

[hattip Conservative Cajun]

On a Sunday

2006-04-09T22:49:00.000-04:00

Pro: Santos won the presidency.
Con: No Desperate Housewives.

Pro: Half.com sells CDs for dirt cheap.
Con: I have no money.

Pro: Adult Swim is freaking hilarious.
Con: I saw this episode of Family Guy a bajillion times.

I never had a more boring Sunday night in my life!

"The Republican Implosion"

2006-04-09T21:30:00.000-04:00

This past week was, very succinctly, "a staggering collection of misfortunes and failures" for the Republican Party. Sheryl Stolberg at the New York Times has more.

My Thoughts

2006-04-09T13:21:00.000-04:00

There's this illogical belief among otherwise rational people that there are two kinds of folks in the world: those who believe in evolution and those who do not. Those who do point out that the theory is perhaps the only scientifically-based explanation as to where humans came from. Those who do not point out the seemingly impossible combination of variables that had to occur for a pool of goop to turn into amino acids. But something horrible happens when the world is turned into black and white. Everybody misses the bigger picture.

I'm a firm believer in evolution. But I am also a believer in God. I believe, in my heart and in my mind, that there is a logical marriage of the two. As easily as God demanded, "Let there be light!" so he did to create life on earth. Only instead, he demanded, "Let the world evolve." Human life was not created by a spontaneous appearance of fully-developed organisms, but as a complex dance of multiplying cells. The more humans understand the universe and the composition of the very nature of our environment, the more we see a harmony and a beauty to the design. The good stuff of any issue is found in the middle ground.

The same can be said about immigration, the hot-button topic du jour. On one side, there's the Wisconsin Republican Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner's bill that focuses exclusively on security and enforcement. It would treat illegal alien's mere presence in the country -- currently only a civil violation -- as a felony punishable by a year and a day in jail. It would also make giving even humanitarian assistance to an illegal immigrant a crime punishable by up to five years in prison.

On the other side, there's the evil A-word: amnesty. There has to be something in between this and the other extreme.

The main problem I have with Mr. F. James' bill is the glaring idiocy of locking up an illegal alien who is probably living in substandard conditions anyway and giving them three meals a day and all the other "benefits" of prison life for a year and a day. Sure, jail is no picnic, but neither is working a job Americans don't want to do. If the illegal alien is working, he's at least helping the economy and that's a good thing, right? Kinda like tax breaks for the wealthy. When he's sitting in a jail cell, Americans are footing his bill and he's not working. How does that make sense?

And wouldn't it also be safe to assume that illegal immigrants aren't the ones out there committing crimes? At least not the smart ones. Any infraction of American law, with the obvious exception of being in America illegally, would undoubtedly make you stand out when you would obviously want to stay hidden. It's like playing hide and seek and you jump out from behind a couch and holler "Surprise!"

F. James' bill would also establish mandatory minimum sentences for repeat offenders. Tell me how that makes sense.

No matter what anyone says about the issue [ie. Republican congressman Tom Tancredo calling illegals "a scourge that threatens the very future of our nation," lamenting "the cult of multiculturalism" and worrying about America's becoming a "Tower of Babel."] there's not going to be any mass deportation. America will always see the importance of immigrant labor to construction, fruit farming and other chunks of the U.S. economy and so they will stay. The only real problem needing a solution is how soon to give them citizenship or some other form of permanent residency and how many more can come into the United States per year. There will always be immigrants. This is, any way you look at it, a Nation of Immigrants.

elsewhere
Oranges to Oranges | Any Lower | Liberators

Friday Random Ten

2006-04-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

It's Friday. You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Meet Virginia, Train, Train
2. Big Me, Foo Fighters, Big Me
3. Love Hurts, Nazareth, Dazed and Confused soundtrack
4. Rock DJ, Robbie Williams, Sing When You're Winning
5. Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Chronicle, Vol. 1
6. You Learn, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill
7. Intergalactic, Beastie Boys, Hello Nasty
8. Foolish Games, Jewel, Pieces of You
9. Teenage Dirtbag, Wheatus, Wheatus
10. Killer Queen, Queen, Greatest Hits

elsewhere
"These numbers are scary. We've lost every advantage we've ever had."

Bitter Betties

2006-04-06T22:03:00.000-04:00

Supporters of disgraced former U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay protested at an event Thursday held by the Democratic candidate for the congressman's seat, and the event quickly dissolved into a shouting and shoving match. Police were called, but made no arrests.

"I got pushed. I got hit. I got a sign wadded up in my face and my hat pulled down over my eyes," said Marsha Rovai, 69, a supporter of Nick Lampson. "They just did it to be nasty."

Supporters of a now defunct politician -- an indicted, partisan hack of a politician, at that -- roughted up a sixty-nine year old woman because she attended an event for a Democrat? She's oooold. She's old as hell. Have they no decency?

New Disque Compact

2006-04-05T22:03:00.000-04:00

Let me tell you something. My super-secret, now-public mid-month resolution back in March was to buy a CD a week and build up my music collection.

I've always had a precarious relationship with music. With the exception of listening to what my parents listened to or what my friends listened to, I didn't have a developed sense of the kind of music I liked until around the seventh grade when I became obsessed with the Beatles. Before the age of thirteen or fourteen, music was something I heard in the car, just something I heard places. To my ears, I was listening to the world in black and white and drowning out the color.

But when I started listening to music -- really listening to music, Sgt. Pepper's style -- my world turned as colorfully psychedelic as Dorothy's in the Wizard of Oz. [/End of Dorothy analogies.]

Even now that I love music, I go through moods of listening nonstop or not listening to anything. I can go a couple days without ever turning on iTunes just as easily as I can go a couple days without ever turning off the music. When I'm sick or feeling a little low, music gets on my nerves so bad I can't stand it. When I'm hungry, I can't get enough music.

But I can only listen to music when I have nothing better to do than give it my undivided attention. My mind hones in on the song like a laser beam so intensely that I can't focus on anything else. Some people turn on music to help them sleep; I find myself singing along or finding patterns in the melody so much that I can't relax. Right now, as I type this, there's no music. I can barely put a coherent sentence together without the distraction.

My music taste is pretty eclectic -- doesn't everyone say that? -- but I really dig what I dig. There's no in between for me. The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, James Taylor, Godsmack, White Stripes -- well, you read my Random 10s every Friday -- I'm obsessively into it all. Two weeks ago, I bought Queen's Greatest Hits. (Soo good I listened to it at least two dozen times now.) Last week it was "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not" by the Arctic Monkeys. (No verdict as of yet, but that doesn't stop it from spinning in my CD player.) This week, today in fact, it's "At War with the Mystics" by the Flaming Lips. You may recognize their lyrics from the first post of this blog. (I really, really like it and have listened to it three times.)

But regardless of what the critics have to say [The Independent, The Times, All Music Guide], my new CD makes me happy. All my music makes me happy. You could say I have low standards for what constitutes a good album, but happiness -- not love -- is all you need.

Adios

2006-04-03T23:05:00.000-04:00

Bye bye, Mr. DeLay.

Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) ... told House allies tonight that he will resign from the House rather than face a reelection fight that appears increasingly unwinnable.

Copy Cats

2006-04-03T15:45:00.000-04:00

The ap is sooo far behind me.

Troubled Reds

2006-04-02T11:41:00.000-04:00

It's not always easy being green, but it sure hasn't been very easy being red lately, either. With just seven months until the big November midterm election, Republicans increasingly find themselves at odds not only with themselves but with the American electorate.

Intra On two different occassions in just one week the president and the vice-president were given something of a cold shoulder as they attempted to raise some money for their fellow Republicans. Recently, time tells us, "[Sen Rick] Santorum posed for photos with the President at the airport... But it was telling that Santorum, who is trailing state treasurer Bob Casey by 10 points in the latest polls, scheduled no public appearances."

Pennsylvania is a blue state. It went to Gore in '00 and Kerry in '04, voted in the former mayor of Philadelphia as Governor in '02, picked the moderate Republican Arlen Specter over the uber-conservative Pat Toomey in the '04 primary, and is set up to pick moderate Casey over super-conservative Santorum at the end of this year. No one seeking office would pose for pictures with the president in this state.

time also tells us of when Cheney flew to Newark, N.J., earlier in the week. "State senator Tom Kean Jr. ... didn't show up until 15 minutes after the Vice President's motorcade had left. Kean blamed the state's notorious traffic for his tardiness. Local papers confirmed that there hadn't been much congestion at the time."

In times of trouble, Republicans have historically -- in the last decade at least -- come together as one core group. Their unity is a mere memory now. From the Abramoff scandal, to the Miers debacle, to the Libby affair, to the DeLay indictment, to the the Dubai ports disaster, to the Abu Ghraib calamity, to the illegal eavesdropping misadventure, to the immigration bill catastrophe, to the Schiavo disappointment, to the over-run of the national debt, the deterioration of states' rights, the explosion of big government, the misguided dream of nation-building, and the culture of corruption, it's enough to make any real conservative's head dizzy. Get out the smelling salts, Scarlett.

A common GOP talking-point is that Democrats lack unity or a message. I wonder, then, where I can find Republican unity or any one, sustaining Republican message. It's a myth.

Inter A mere twenty-nine percent of Americans approve of the president's handling in Iraq, according to the most recent newsweek poll. Forty-four percent approve of his handling of terrorism and homeland security. Thirty-six percent feel he's doing all right as president.

These aren't good times for Republicans. According to time, fifty percent of Americans would pick the Democrat if the congressional elections were being held today (forty-one percent would choose the Republican, a nine-point difference), and forty-nine percent of Americans would pick the Democrats as their choice to control Congress (thirty-eight percent would choose the Republicans, an eleven-point difference).

A lot can happen in the remaining seven months, but we cannot, and the American people will not, forget what's happened in the last six years. Asking for a majority in either chamber is quite the stretch for the Democrats, but a lesser minority is so close they can taste it.

The Con Father

2006-04-02T00:33:00.000-05:00

The father of the contemporary conservative movement has recently been quoted as calling the war in Iraq -- err, the liberation of Iraq -- "a failure."

William F. Buckley Jr. wrote recently in the National Review, "it's important that we acknowledge in the inner councils of state that it (the war) has failed, so that we should look for opportunities to cope with that failure."

Failure. Lose. Losers. Buckley called Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, a longtime friend, "a failed executor" of the war. And Vice President Dick Cheney "was flatly misled," Buckley said. "He believed the business about the weapons of mass destruction." So did many Americans. But even they have wised up. Even the not-so brightest of the bunch. What's Cheney's deal?

Yeah Yeah Yeah First Post

2006-04-01T23:09:00.000-05:00

Perhaps I will start my new blog off with the lyrics to a good song.

Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
by the Flaming Lips

if you could blow up the world with the flip of a switch, would you do it? if you could make everybody poor just so you could be rich, would you do it? if you could watch everybody work while you just lay on your back, would you do it? if you could take all that’s left without giving any back, would you do it?

and so, we cannot know ourselves what we’d really do with all your power, with all your power, with all your power, what would you do? with all your power, with all your power, with all your power, what would you do?

if you could make your own money and then give it to everybody, would you do it? if you knew all the answers and you could give them to the masses, would you do it?

no no no no no no.

are you crazy? it's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want because you cannot know yourself what you’d really do with all you power.